The Annual Christmas Card Conundrum

I cheated with our Christmas cards this year.

We snapped a shot of the standard family pose at Thanksgiving and Catherine designed a card online, just as we’ve done for many years. The 100+ printed cards arrived at our house, envelopes included. Only, this year my letter was baked in on the back of the card.

Last Christmas I realized that we received many cards that just had a short “howdy-do” section on the back. I liked that. So, I announced to Catherine that I was going to try that this year and not include my usual page-long recap of our year.

Frankly, our year just wasn’t all that exciting. Last year was better. Maybe I could just change a few dates on last year’s letter and resend it. That’s mostly what we do anyhow, isn’t it?

I like a nice tidy recap of someone’s year. I really don’t need a list of every kid, grandkid, malady and complaint, followed by an uplifting holiday phrase at the end. It’s just abusive to expect us to read and understand all that. But I don’t have to read them and there isn’t a test later unless I run into them and need a talking point.

Read the Fine Print

I managed to condense our year into about one sentence about each of us and our two kids. I looked for a smaller font so I could squeeze a bit more into it but they must not allow it or people would print so small you’d need a magnifying glass to read it.

When we received our cards, I immediately set up our worktable for production. Instead of seven steps for each card, it would now be just five steps. No folding and stuffing a hundred sheets of paper.

Everything went fine until I looked for return labels. My usual supply of ones I printed was gone and to my astonishment, we were out of print stock. I searched online at the local big box stores and the best I could find were some that could arrive in three days. I sure miss Office Max.

While return addresses aren’t necessary, they can help you learn if someone has moved. I had to resort to the free ones you get in the mail when being asked to donate to something.

Fortunately, we had a large collection, even some Christmas-themed ones. But not 100. The remaining choices included cute animals, the American flag, the Statue of Liberty, hearts and flowers. Was that cute animal a reindeer or a llama? Close enough. Probably shouldn’t use the turkeys or owls, though.

When printing address labels, some with multiple addresses (like their business or cabin) also printed so we had to pull those out. Then it was simply time to block traffic while I stood outside my car feeding handfuls of cards into the mailbox across from the post office. Done. Now for that last minute shopping.

Order and Wait

I know it’s hard for stores to know how much inventory to carry at Christmastime. But even big box stores seem to be limiting stock and pushing shipping. We’re headed back to the days of my youth when you ordered stuff at Sears, then waited two weeks for it to arrive. In today’s crazy-fast lifestyle, two days seems like two weeks.

Even with that, couldn’t they make sure to have loads of Christmas sundries on hand like tape, stamps, envelopes, gift wrap and bows? It was slim pickin’s by mid-December this year. But it’s gotten so you need to buy even these standard Christmas items right after Halloween. Yet, somehow, right after Christmas there will be clearance sales of all this stuff you couldn’t find. Where did that come from?

I helped my sister do some Christmas shopping and I noticed that the top card showing in the box of assorted Christmas cards she bought had a photo of an old red pickup truck on the front. Later that same day we received an identical card from an acquaintance. I now know where they shop. A few days later I received that card again – from my sister.

We received a number of cards this year that are merely signed. Why bother? Just send us a text message that you’re still alive. We received a couple cards with just a holiday phrase and some photos on them. We’re not quite sure who’s in the photos. One year we received an empty envelope from a friend. Each year we receive more and more email Christmas greetings. Almost no effort required.

Years ago when visiting relatives during Christmas vacation I remember seeing Christmas cards hung on strings across large doorways. I was never sure if they were showing off or they just couldn’t afford better ornaments.

I may rethink the Christmas letter next year. But I’m not making an ornament of cards.