Few Surprises As We Wrap Up Another Christmas

So another Christmas is over. Well, not technically. Every year Catherine reminds me that the Christmas season isn’t over until after Epiphany on January 6. So the tree stays up, maybe until Lent.

For a lot of people, though, any evidence that Christmas was even celebrated vanishes by New Year’s Day. Oh, there might still be some peanut brittle and decorated cookies, and the fruitcake is put away for aging. But the tree is down, the outside lights are put away and the Christmas music is turned off.. Someone once told me in all sincerity that on Christmas Eve they open gifts and then, as soon as everyone goes to bed, she puts it all away, tree included. That might be a little extreme.

For us, this Christmas was successful as measured by no major disasters. We got the Christmas cards out on time, despite the fact that I had to print the address labels twice. Catherine got most of her Christmas baking done on time. I think it was because I stayed out of the way, banished to the Island of Misfit Christmas Cookies and Candy. Tough duty, but it works for me.

This season I was reminded that procrastination is not a wise choice. Every year I buy Catherine a dated ornament locally. But this year I waited too long. They were out. More would be arriving, I was assured, and they would let me know when they arrived. A week later I received the dreaded call from the store that they would be unable to get any before Christmas. They suggested that I look online for one. Yep, found one. For $10 less and delivered.

This year Catherine and I decided to give each other the just released Apple AirPods Pro. There are no secrets here anymore. These AirPods are supposed to be the cat’s meow of earphones, including their ability to cancel environmental noise. I’ve gotten pretty good at canceling Catherine’s voice out without earphones, but this should assure it.

When Catherine got to the Apple store she was told that the last Pros were sold out 20 minutes earlier. She called me with the bad news so we decided that I would just order them online, knowing that they would probably not arrive by Christmas.

I went to the Apple site and added a pair to my virtual shopping cart, noting that the delivery date would be Jan. 27. It was then that I realized you could get free engraving on them. I thought it would be smart to have our initials on them since we’re bound to mix them up. However, this upset the Apple cart and I was required to start the order again. The free engraving also pushed the delivery date out another week. Any longer and they could be Easter gifts.

Son Reid received an Xbox controller which led to someone mentioning that the controllers can be ordered with NFL team logos. I suggested that it would be a bad idea to order one with the Minnesota Vikings logo on it. You’d win some games but never a championship.

I really shouldn’t ask Catherine each year if she wants another dated ornament. There’s that lack of surprise again. But pretty soon the tree is going to have room for them only. And there’s not much secret about what we’re giving each other when much of it is ordered from the same Amazon account. Just look up the orders to see what Santa’s bringing you. We got to the point where we needed to verify the order numbers to be sure we opened the right packages when they arrived. She opened the one with the ornament and just hung it on the tree, saving me the effort of wrapping it.

It should be no surprise that, with so much online ordering now, there are times of the day that the only vehicles on our streets are UPS, FedEx, and USPS trucks. Christmas just makes it worse. I didn’t realize how much can be shoved into our mailbox. Next year I’m storing a pry bar next to the post.

One gift I received was a book of dad jokes from daughter Clara. She has accused me of saying dad jokes many times. I didn’t even know there was such a thing until she told me about it awhile back. The book is proof that there is such a thing and it may offer some new jokes for me to use. Many of them are funny but others are so lame it puts dads to shame. Example: “Did you hear about the burglar who fell into the cement mixer? Now he’s a hardened criminal.” The book prints the key words in bold to help us get it. In the example, the words cement and hardened are highlighted. Good to know.

I wonder what our credit card balances look like. We don’t need any January surprises. Oh, I’ll check them later. First, I think I’ll hang up my 2020 Minnesota Weatherguide calendar then sit back with some Christmas cookies and try to learn some new dad jokes.