Closed Captioning Says It All

“Turn on the words, will you?” Catherine knew what I meant and with the press of a button the TV show started to make more sense to me.

She knows I have age-related hearing loss. It’s not fake news that I have trouble hearing high-pitched sounds. I’m a member of the Blinkers on for Miles Club and often need to have statements repeated repeatedly. The loud parties, jam sessions, chain saws and headphones over the years may have something to do with that.

Hearing aids are around the corner. Until then, I’ll take advantage of one particularly useful tool, closed captioning (CC), which is especially helpful when watching amid an audience that won’t stop talking.

Even if you are not hearing impaired, CC is useful for those odd names and phrases and fast-talking announcers. And how often does the background music drown out the dialog? You can’t easily lower the volume on just that. Even my 26-year-old son says he leaves CC on all the time. In a UK study, 80% of CC users were not hard of hearing. CC is also the new version of  subtitles that used to be burned into the movie’s image to translate foreign films.

I was surprised to learn that CC is, for the most part, generated by real people and not computer programs. They repeat what they hear and it gets transferred to the screen. Now that’s a job that requires paying close attention. Naturally, there’s always a delay with live CC and that can frustrate the viewer.

Adding the CC track to movies and TV shows is a lot easier. The transcribers can just follow the script since they are already recorded. This type of CC often includes text to define what background sounds are playing. Those references are enclosed in parentheses or brackets to set them apart from dialog, such as (tires screeching). This is done on many old and new shows alike and is particularly useful to the truly deaf.

Recently, I’ve been watching old Alfred Hitchcock Presents episodes since in my youth our TV didn’t work well and I would never have been allowed to watch them anyhow. Maybe my folks didn’t want me watching people smoke and drink constantly as they commit major crimes.

CC on those shows includes many references to the background sounds, probably to allow keeping with Hitchcock’s trademark play on words and gallows humor. Examples include things like (giggling), (chuckling), (thunder clapping), (somber orchestral music), (jaunty accordion music), (foreboding music). You get the idea.

So, what if we included background sound references in printed text? They could take the place of long descriptive narratives. It would look a bit like a script, but maybe today’s youth would read more. Let’s see how that might work in a written version of a short Hitchcock story.

(light cheery music) (footsteps approaching rapidly)

“Hey, mister!” little Tommy yelled. “Look what I found!”

(heavy breathing)

Jim looked up to see the youth holding out a small piece of paper.

“It’s a lottery ticket, son,” Jim said with a smile. “Want me to see if it’s a winner?”

(light chuckling)

“That would be keen!” Tommy squealed. And with that he was off again, looking for his next adventure.

(rapidly diminishing footfalls)

Jim continued toward downtown when he heard some commotion.

(sirens wailing) (foreboding music) (indiscernible yelling)

“What happened?” Jim asked a man running past him.

“Someone just got shot!” the man replied.

(dramatic music)

“Who was it?” Jim asked, digging for more information.

“A cop,” was the reply.

 (intense music) (gasping)

 “Who shot him?”

“A bank robber, but he got away.”

(abrupt musical burst)

A crowd was forming.

(crowd bustling)

Jim lit a cigarette.

(cigarette lighter clicks) (inhaling deeply)

Later that afternoon, Jim was back home, wondering where the bank robber might be when his thoughts were suddenly interrupted.

(loud knocking on door)

Jim slowly opened the door.

(door squeaking)

It was Doris, his new girlfriend.

“Hey, baby, come on in,” Jim said as he gave her a quick kiss.

(smooching) (door thudding)

“Did you hear about the bank robbery and shooting today?” he continued. “Do you know anything about it?”

(giggling)

“Of course I do. I did it,” Doris grinned, holding up a facemask she pulled from a bag.

(abrupt musical burst)

“And here’s the money,” she declared, showing Jim a pile of big bills in the bag.

(chortling) “Let’s shake this town and start livin’!”

(gasp) (intense music)

“What? You did? Well, don’t that beat all? OK, baby, give me a minute to pack some stuff and then let’s hit the road,” Jim said. “You drive.”

(engine revving) (tires squealing)

A few miles later, a police car suddenly appeared behind them.

(siren blaring) (dramatic music)

“Oh, no! It’s the cops!” cried Doris. “They must have gotten a description of my car. What’ll we do?”

“Pull over and get a lawyer,” Jim said calmly as he flashed his patrolman badge in her face. “I notified them while packing and for that I think I’ll get a promotion.”

(intense guffaw)

Two weeks later, Jim sat down in his favorite chair, taking a sip from his glass of scotch before lighting a cigarette.

(cigarette lighter clicks) (inhaling deeply)

“Yes, sir. Things are looking up,” he thought, as he polished his new lieutenant badge and glanced at the lottery payout check on the chairside table. “Not bad at all.”

(contented sigh) (light exhilarating music) (crickets chirping)

Hitchcock’s epilogue could be:

“There you have it – a whole episode without the excruciating detail of long, flowing sentences. Next time, I shall try to abridge the English language even more. As for Jim, it appears that little Tommy found out about the lottery winnings after which Jim’s house was mysteriously destroyed in a fire. So, until next time I bid you good night.”

(jovial, mysterious music)